Between Times
by abirdonalilactree13
Summary: Follow Crowley and Aziraphale and some of the other Angels and Demons from before the beginning of time until after the end of it. Friends to strangers to friends to enemies back to friends and eventually to lovers -slowburn. Yes, I do intend to write the slowest slowburn of them all! I don't own most of the characters in this story, though.
1. Before The Fall

First Chapter: This is how it all began.

Please Enjoy :)

~~~

_"When everything was beautiful and nothing hurt..."_

_― Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five_

~~~

**Once upon a time…**

**_…When time wasn't invented yet…_**

...There was a lot of peace and quiet everywhere. The clouds were white, the sun was shining and the air tasted fresh and new and clean. The angels were drawing sketches of animals and plants and stars, whispering with each other about how beautiful everything and anything was and would be.

But it shouldn't stay this way.

Because it never does.

Because it wasn't supposed to.

Because the only constant in life is change.

-Which is an important thing to remember, because change is the only thing that brings you from one place to another. Forwards and sideways and in some cases backwards. Lines, curves and sometimes circles. But always moving.

Some angels got nervous. Some got jumpy. Some fuzzy.

They were buzzing around aimlessly. Like bees, which would be invented soon. And just as graceful.

They were vibrating uncertainty.

The angels started to form groups, soon.

Friendships and partnerships evolved.

Some feelings even got beyond the feeling of close friendship.

One certain Angel for one had developed a crush on one chubby angel since- well, since even before the beginning of times.

It was the very first school girl crush, long before schoolgirls were even invented.

Aziraphale of course, although he admired the other angels' warm gold and friendly eyes and his long hair, sometimes like fire and sometimes like blood and who could make him laugh and giggle and would talk with him and listen to him and make his stomach fill with freshly invented butterflies and his smile that could make you feel like the whole room lit up, was completely oblivious.

But they had bonded over creating the universe. Made the stars and the sky together. Our Angel invented red dwarfs and white dwarfs and pulsars and planets and dwarf planets and moons. And Aziraphale made every kind of bird that would only come out in the night, like the barn owl, the short-eared owl, the long-eared owl, the great horned owl, the spotted owl, the elf owl, the great grey owl and all sorts of night hawks and even some bats. –all of them creatures of the darkness, so they would be able to gaze upon the night sky and admire its beauty.

Anyway, now the angels had something in between a meeting and a date planned and you don't have to ask who would like to call it which.

So our Angel sat there waiting for Aziraphale, on a soft cloud like cotton candy that was turning violet from the setting sun, and dreamed of all sorts of things.

Not far from him, there were two other angels sitting together and giggling. They both had dark skin with golden patterns and dark eyes. He could see that one was drawing a small dragon-like creature. While the other one admired both -the sketch and the first angel.

Since Science hadn't been invented yet, our Angel wondered what caused the cloud to change its colour after they had turned them white.

The sun set and now the cloud underneath him was dark blue.

He miracled it back to white.

And then his thoughts found their way back to his beautiful angel.

Since lunch wasn't invented yet, they hadn't much opportunity to have other hobbies than stargazing, which they now had planned to do. -If Aziraphale would finally show up.

In some distance the annoying sounds of someone who couldn't play the harp could be heard. It was probably Gabriel, who enjoyed practicing between their shifts.

Well, everyone had gotten a harp on their first day, but no one really knew how to play them.

Why would they even want them to play?

What purpose did it have?

It sounded even worse when everyone at the same time decided to try the instrument.

Most had soon given up.

Aziraphale had accidently sat on his one, but he wasn't entirely sure if it hadn't been on purpose after all. Later he would claim that he hadn't been assigned a harp after all.

Our angel tried to ignore the unfortunate noise, as it came closer.

There were other things to think about.

This time our Angel wanted to surprise Aziraphale with the freshly made moons of Jupiter -there were a few more than 79 and he especially liked the four bigger ones, Europa, Ganymed, Kalisto and Io, -Galileo would many years later be the human to discover them. They were nice to look at, he thought. Messier 25, which was a star cluster close to the centre of the Milky Way was also freshly made. But his favourite thing of all were shooting stars. He was as close to proud of these creations as was allowed. It would be quite romantic to look at them together, he hoped. Everything was nice, as long as Aziraphale was there.

He looked up smiling brightly as he felt someone approaching him.

His smile faltered as he recognised Michael.

"You are waiting for someone.", Michael stated sternly without any word of greeting.

"Aziraphale. Do you know where he is?", Our Angel answered.

"You spend an awful lot of time together.", Michael stated, ignoring his question.

"I enjoy his presence immensely. Why do you ask?"

"I see." Again she seemed like she didn't hear him.

"I... I like the way he smiles.", Our Angel said quietly after a pause.

And suddenly he felt something he would, many years later, define as the feeling of guilt.

"Do... Do you think god would approve, if-"

"It's not allowed to fall in love with another angel.

You should only truly love god herself."

At a distance an angel with hip long silver hair stared at them. His eyes were white. Just white. The irises, the pupils. White. Our Angel had the feeling that the other one was watching Michael, really. He had seen them together now and then. Whispering, sometimes quietly fighting. What Michael now has said, didn't make sense.

Didn't make any sense to him at all.

"Why?", Our Angel asked.

"You are not supposed to.", Michael said fiercely.

Our Angel stumbled backwards in sudden fear, almost colliding with another angel.

This angel had black short hair and was smaller than the other ones. They were surrounded by all sorts of tiny insects.

Lady bugs, colourful dragon flies and fireflies.

The short angel apologized and then went over to Gabriel who still was playing the harp badly. And the insects followed them, like ducklings follow a mother duck.

They seemed like they were summoned by the music, smiling absently, although the sounds could many years later described as those of an old elevator screeching downwards, its brakes broken.

"It doesn't make any sense at all. Why-"

Michael glared at him. He hesitated.

Then there suddenly was another strange sound.

It was like an explosion, when the first angel fell.

The sky turned first orange, then red and the ground was shaking.

Our angel looked around.

Where was the short one?

The lady bugs, colourful dragon flies and fireflies transformed into small black fruit flies as they followed their master downwards.

Everything was shaking.

A second one fell.

Michael ran over to Uriel who still grasped the hand of the angel who she had been drawing with.

But he was pulled down with great force through the clouds and far underneath.

Uriel screamed as the hand slipped through her fingers.

Michael held her as she started to sob uncontrollably on her knees.

Now they hit the ground like comets.

The next ones fell.

The angel with the white eyes was gone.

It smelled of burned hair as whiteness was sucked into darkness.

Our angel could feel fear and sorrow radiating from Michael, while her features stayed neutral.

Like it didn't concern her.

There were feathers in the air.

Screaming and crying could be heard.

It smelled of sulphur and burned feathers.

Our Angel could feel their pain. He sunk to his knees. The cloud felt cold and wet.

Where was Aziraphale?

Was he safe?

He prayed, that Aziraphale was somewhere else in safety.

Then he could hear Gabriel shout something in Michaels direction. The other angel shook her head.

Our Angel couldn't make out the words anymore. Everything was beyond any sense.

"Why would they do that?", he yelled over the raging noise.

He shouted at no one in particular but at the same time at everyone and god herself.

Then he had a sinking feeling in the place where soon a heart would pound.

His wings darkened, as the clouds opened underneath him.

He could feel himself saunter vaguely downwards.

Losing a tiny bit of memory with every inch he approached hell.

Underneath the clouds a snake slithered away, angry, scared, confused.

His head felt light and empty the second before he hit the ground and was absorbed into a world of burning and pain.

The clouds had been invented way before rain. And it had been a good laugh, when an animal like a cloud but with four legs was created.

Now the clouds were dark and threatening above.

The frightened sheep underneath hid between the trees.

When everything calmed down, the silence was too loud. So unnerving it almost hurt.

Then the light changed from orange back to a friendly shade of violet.

And the clouds were like cutton candy again. Soft and sweet and harmless.

Both sides, heaven and hell were in shock, unable to grasp what just happened.

It was the silence that had woken up Aziraphale. He had fallen asleep over a first attempt what would later look like a writing.

The angel wouldn't fall asleep again for the next many hundred years. Because he else would have the feeling to miss something important.

Sleep could be a waste of time, he decided.

He stumbled towards the place where he was supposed to meet our now fallen Angel.

Aziraphale looked left and right.

Walked in a circle.

Called our Angel's name.

Again and again and again.

The other angels stared at him.

But no one answered.

He was gone.

He just- wasn't there anymore.

Gabriel looked at the harp in his hands. He looked like he had just forgotten something. With a confused expression, he left the harp on the ground and walked in a different direction.

Uriel stood up from the ground, cleaned her knees and wondered why her face was wet.

Michael let go of Uriels arm and observed her surroundings. Why was Uriel sad? And hadn't she been in the middle of arguing with someone?

The snake looked up to the clouds.

A single tear rolled down its dark green and scaly cheek.

Finally, the blond angel got to the edge of heaven and looked down. There was a lot of green and a lot of movement and he marvelled at its beauty. He started to forget. Just like the other angels. It was like fog clouding their minds.

Aziraphale sat down at the edge of a cloud and watched the movements on earth.

There were sheep that looked like the clouds above them. Fruit flies that were without order. Giraffes. A Zebra. A Frog. A sad snake.

He would meet this snake in the Garden of Eden.

Soon.

~~~

**Author's note**

_So this was the first chapter. I hope you liked it. My internet connection is a mess, so_

_there will be irregular updates. But don't worry, this fic is finished -it won't get abandoned._

_Hopefully I'll be able to update once a week._

_Shout out to the awesome humans, angels and demons from the discord server tea at_

_the ritz for helping with the pronouns, among other things -but you'll see in later chapters. 3_

_Have an awesome day or night._

_Leave a comment, if you like._

_See you again next week._

_ -Sam :)_


	2. 4004 BC -Eden

_"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to always tell the difference."_

_\- **Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five, Chapter 3**_

_**~~~**_

The soil was dry and soft and it made him feel like he needed to sneeze. Where the sunrays had creeped through leaves and branches, the ground was hot.

He liked that feeling and at the same time it made him so uncomfortable. With a tickly nose, he slithered up a tree. It felt scratchy.

The wind gently shook the branches.

It was almost soothing. Calming.

And at the same time it made him anxious.

He didn't dare to look down.

From one of the branches closer to the sky he watched Adam and Eve.

Adam said something, and she smiled. Then he kissed her hand. He could hear her melodic laughter from a distance. They walked around. Collected branches. Petted a giraffe.

The snake wondered, when the angel of the eastern gate would come back to talk to the humans. He seemed to visit them regularly between shifts. And he always had something for them. Small gifts. Like a necklace made of tiny shells or food like berries or some vegetables.

He had seen Aziraphale being friends with Eve.

Making her laugh, but with his words. He could see him saying something and then smile awkwardly.

He wanted to hear these words, but he hadn't come close enough. Had feared it for a reason he couldn't quite explain just yet.

..._Aziraphale_.

How did he know his name?

Where did it come from?

Maybe Eve had mentioned him to Adam. Yes. Surely.

She must have.

Sometimes the angel would help them prepare their food. Cut vegetables with the flaming sword.

Would help them out when they needed it.

Aziraphale seemed to like entertaining the couple. He would talk for hours.

Sometimes they cared for the animals together.

And most importantly he seemed to like food. He talked to the plants, when Eve or Adam weren't close.

They obviously were good friends.

Friends.

He wanted to be her friend, too.

This had several reasons.

Because Eve seemed like a pleasant person.

Because she was a nice and friendly human.

-Because Eve was a friend of the angel of the eastern gate.

If he were a friend of Eve, then he could also spend time with his angel again. Just hang out in a group, casually and-

Wait ... ... _his_ angel ... ... _again_?

Where did that come from?

He tried to remember, but there was nothing but the shadow of a feeling.

Something small and warm at the back of his mind, like a sense of belonging.

Like a sense of home.

~~~

He waited long for the right opportunity.

He waited a long time.

It was a long time, because time wasn't really old just yet.

He invented lurking in the shadows while he waited.

To find her alone.

Vulnerable?

-Why would he think that?

~~~

The snake enjoyed lurking between trees and slithering through the warm sand.

He liked sunrays.

There wasn't much sun… underneath.

Underneath wasn't a warm place.

It was cold and wet. Even back then.

Despite the chaos it reminded him of something. He liked to call that something 'before'.

Someone gave orders. Everyone else had to obey.

And that was the tea. Or it would be. Sometime later.

The freshly made demon got the order to cause some mischief and then got sent back, immediately. An order by Lord Beelzebub themself who seemed in the first days underneath a bit disorganised. But they had somehow known, that he would prefer to stay on earth and no one else had wanted the job. He didn't dare to say that it was nice. But it was really nice to stay up there and not underneath.

But now he had to think of a mischief.

"Oh, hello there, snake.", a voice close to him suddenly said.

The snake didn't answer, but stared.

The angel and guardian of the eastern gate Aziraphale smiled at him. Then he leaned down and petted his head.

The demon felt like he was discorporating. But he didn't. Instead the angel just stopped for a moment and looked confused at his hand, like he had burnt his fingers. Then he walked away like nothing had happened.

~~~

One day -there she was.

Alone. And close to the centre of the garden.

"And what kind of creature are you? You don't really walk and you don't really swim. Do you? You crawl. And this is nice."

The snake tilted its head.

"I'll call you Crawly, because you crawl so nicely."

She carefully touched his head, which took him a bit by surprise.

Eve smiled kindly at the snake, as it started to speak.

He whispered words to her. Something luring. Something like a promise.

First she looked confused, shook her head in fear, looked at the sky worriedly, and it took him an awful lot of convincing, but then she agreed.

Crawly wasn't nice. Not in that sense. At least he thought so. But if she saw the difference between good and evil, maybe they could become friends.

It must be intersting, having a good friend and a bad friend. Much more fun. Much more oportunities.

~]~

He saw Aziraphale standing above the eastern gate.

His wings were white and seemed to shimmer in the fading sunlight.

Except for… It seemed like one of his feathers had turned grey. Maybe it was the age. Because what was age back then? Even then they were as old as time and older.

The demon didn't need to see his features to know that he looked worried.

Crawly couldn't help but worry, too.

It hadn't been his intention to get them kicked out of Eden.

It was a bit of an overreaction, really.

But there had been a job. And it could be called a success. The first in the history of hell.

The downside was that he now wouldn't be friends with Eve.

But the upside was that he was now talking to Aziraphale anyway.

Somewhere outside the gates he could hear a howl.

~]~

After his conversation with Aziraphale and after the rain had stopped, he slithered back, up his favourite tree.

"I gave it away."

He still heard these words in his head. They repeated them self again and again and again. Said with the confidence of someone who wasn't quite sure if he had done the right thing.

An act of kindness he hadn't expected.

But also something, that could prove to be foolish in the future.

It could be dangerous for a mortal to run around with a flaming sword. He could hurt himself badly. He could hurt others by accident.

And still it was a sort of rebellion. It was a part of his new nature to like any kind of rebellion against upstairs. But on the other side again…

For a moment he feared for Aziraphale to fall like him, didn't want him to experience the pain like him, to suffer like him. The burning. And then the coldness.

On the other hand, if he was supposed to fall he would have done so already. Wouldn't he?

God seemed like the kind of being that liked to get things done in the morning.

The snake had taught them the difference between good and evil.

What if he had done the right thing?

Changed the future that lay ahead of them so uncertain and unclear and wonderful and exciting. Could someone fall from hell?

When would they meet again?

"I gave it away."

Despite everything it had been the exact moment, he had really fallen in love.

~~~

**_Author's note_**

Here we go. Second chapter. I hope you liked it.


	3. 3004 BC -Noah's Ark

**Chapter Three**

**3004 BC -Noah's Ark**

_"The sea looked as if it had been licked clean, blue and clear and smooth, and there were a few woolly little clouds in the sky. Legend said that these clouds were sheep who had simply wandered over the cliff tops one day, special sheep who now went on grazing in the sky and were never shorn. In any case, they were a good sign."_

_**― Leonie Swann, Three Bags Full**_

_**~~~**_

**_Author's note:_**

**tw**: _math_ -but it's only a small paragraph and you can totally skip it, if it would make you have nightmares.

~~~

They met again a few years later, after another overreaction, as Crowley liked to call it.

"You can't kill children.", he had said, snake eyes wide open.

Not even a demon would kill a child. Why kill something when they wouldn't go to hell, anyway? Something that couldn't even defend itself. It just wasn't logical. It wasn't fair either, he thought. But only very quietly for himself.

Aziraphale had looked so helpless.

But he hadn't agreed with the demon. At least he hadn't said it out loud.

Although something had been in the angels' beautiful eyes. Maybe. Crowley liked to imagine that it was doubt. Still, he knew that having exactly that could be extremely dangerous.

One doesn't simply doubt the great plan.

Crowley wanted to save the children. He really did. The reason why he wanted to do that was far apart from any comprehension.

It couldn't be that wrong or right or whatever, really.

Only that way the children could grow old… and be… bad and ultimately go to hell.

And that should be hells' only concern, anyway.

Right? Wrong?

But how? How?

He observed the Ark from every side. It was huge.

Much bigger than a house. And much bigger than a sand dune. And much bigger than… than an Elephant or something.

There should be more than enough space for everything and more. Also, the unicorn was still missing.

An idea started to form, as he observed the Ark carefully. There were a lot of animals and no one was paying as much attention to them as they should. An unicorn had already gotten away, anyway. Maybe- just maybe this could also work the other way around.

_The Ark measured 300 50 30 cubits which will later get stated in Genesis 6:15, and this is about 140 23 13.5 metres or 459 75 44 feet, so its volume was 43,500 m or 1.54 million cubic feet. (To put this in perspective, this is the equivalent carrying capacity of 340 semitrailer truck, which would be invented many years later, each of which can hold 300 125-pound sheep. This would be a line six lanes wide and half a mile long and it would be 37,000 pound or 18,500kg of creature in total.)_

Yes. There should be enough space.

Aziraphale felt bad. He felt as bad as he never did before. He felt even too bad to listen to his conscience, which tried to tell him something. It couldn't be that important, though. The fresh air didn't really make it better.

The angel of the eastern gate was the first one to discover seasickness.

On the third evening, Aziraphale sat outside between a flamingo and a gazelle, and tried to keep the contents of his dinner where it belonged.

"Angel, are you ok?", the demon Crowley suddenly stood between him and the flamingo.

The flamingo watched him suspiciously, with his head tilted.

"Oh, I'm fine.", Aziraphale answered bravely.

"Are you sure? The light makes you look a bit greenish."

The angel tried not to stare at the demons long and probably soft hair in the wind and falling into his eyes.

"Maybe a bit tired.", Aziraphale said, clinging onto the railing.

"Tired?"

"Tired."

Crowley had never seen an angel getting sick before. Maybe it was gods' anger that made it that way. Maybe it was something entirely different. Either way, the demon was worried.

It was a huge ark. There were near to no waves at all. Which meant, the floor was practically not shaking any bit. Aziraphale glanced at him, help to seek. The angel sighed dramatically once more.

"I'll make you some ginger tea.", the demon finally said.

"I'll feel miserable till the end of-"

"You'll be fine in two or three days, trust me.", the demon assured him.

Aziraphale took a step forward, then let himself fall against the railing again and got even greener if possible.

"What did you eat?", Crowley asked as he took the angel carefully by the arm.

"Tuna with-.", Aziraphale admitted reluctantly.

"Bad idea." He shook his head.

Aziraphale flinched at the word 'bad'.

"Let's go inside, ok?" The demon half carried him inside. His hands felt cold. But also his touch was strangely calming . And maybe just a little bit nice.

"What do you usually do to calm yourself down, angel?", he asked reluctantly.

This made the angel jump a bit, and he looked to the ceiling with a pinch of guilt, as they slowly walked down the stairs and deeper into the Ark.

"I read or write something."

"You should stop that."

"I will do no such thing." Aziraphale ripped his arm away and a moment later he grabbed for Crowley again, because he almost fell over a middle-sized rat.

"I mean you should stop that as long as you feel bad."

He brought the angel of the eastern gate back to his cabin which he shared with four different breeds of pigeon and also two friendly brown chickens.

Snuggled into a blanket Aziraphale asked: "Will you read something for me? Please?"

Crowley hesitated. Warm eyes begged him silently.

But then he grabbed a scroll that was lying next to Aziraphale's bed. How could he say 'no'? The angel looked at him expectantly. The scroll was made of dried leafs and the tiny symbols looked like they were written with blood.

Since the demon couldn't read, he improvised.

He sat down next to the angel of the eastern gate- not too close, not too far- opened the scroll from the wrong side and said: "In the beginning…"

Aziraphale closed his eyes and smiled so sweetly, that it made Crowley almost forget how words work. But he took a deep breath and continued his story bravely.

Crowley kept talking quietly over the singing of some budgies, the yawning of a tiger, the cheeping of a degu, until his angel calmed down enough, to not sleep but dream. After he had made sure that the angel was feeling better, the demon left him alone, although he desperately wanted to stay. But he had other things to do.Important things.

Aziraphale had rested for hours and was now refreshed.

The angel felt much stronger, although still a bit shaky. But now he was bored and he had been thinking about the demon for a while, now. And for some reason he couldn't explain, he just wanted to see him again. Preferably sooner than later.

"Crawley? Where are you? Could you… mayhaps… read me another story, please?", Aziraphale shouted as loud as he dared, which wasn't very loud, as he approached the section where there were the zebras, and some apes and also a few butterflies. It was quite dark. Only a few candles lit this section.

"Wait a moment, angel. Don't come here." He sounded nervous.

"Is something wrong, my dear boy?", Aziraphale asked and went there, anyway.

"-Oh hello, who are you?" The young girl that had been smiling at him as he almost bumped into her, ran and hid behind Crowley.

He stared at a terrified demon surrounded by small children, mouth agape. Two were holding his hands and one was sitting on his shoulders, badly braiding his long hair with tiny and probably not very clean fingers. In the background they heard a hog making some unhappy sounds.

"What did you do?", Aziraphale almost hissed.

"I don't know what you are talking about.", Crowley said.

"I'm talking about the children. Where do they come from?"

"Oh.. hey… I haven't even noticed."

"Crawley…" Aziraphale crossed his arms. Then he uncrossed them again, because he needed them for stability. He felt himself getting sick again. Was the floor getting shakier?

"You can't kill children.", the demon finally said softly.

"WE CAn't- can't keep them here." He toned down, as the small girl sitting on Crowley's shoulders started crying.

"What do you intend to do? Throw them overboard? Does the ineffable plan tell you to do that?"

For a moment their eyes were locked.

"…" Aziraphale then sighed and fixed his gaze on the floorboards as the demon glared at him -glarefully.

"What now, angel?"

"No, I don't –Do you even know how to take care of children?"

"Do you?", Crowley asked sarcastically.

"No, I don't…"

"Me neither.", the demon sighed.

Aziraphale watched the kids hold Crowley's hands and hide behind him. They were afraid of the angel. After a moment of careful consideration, ha decided, that he didn't want them to fear an angel. He was supposed to be the good one.

"Do you think about snitching?", Crowley asked. Hie voice sounded somehow hurt

"No, I- I thought, that we both don't know how to take care of children, but maybe we could learn it together."

First, the demon felt like he was petrified, but then he said: "If you want to… yeah. Whatever. You could look for something to feed them. And maybe a bit of clean water. Sidonie over there really wants to see the unicorn. I'll go with her and show her, if you keep an eye on the others for a while, because I can't take all of them there, because Elijah over there is scared of horses and I don't know how he will react to a unicorn."

Aziraphale nodded.

They've never taken care of living beings, before. Not really. But they learned quickly and all the children survived in the end.

Crowley in snake form would curl around the children to keep them warm.

Aziraphale would cook something nutritious to eat. He would eat most of it, but there also would be more than enough for the children.

And they would talk.

Tell stories in a stormy night to calm everyone down. But mostly the angel, because the shaking of the ark really didn't make him feel good. Still his stomach would get upset from time to time.

These sessions of late night story telling would later result in Aziraphales love for books.

"I'm glad, you were there.", Aziraphale said one night quietly, as they watched over the children sleeping.

Crowley didn't answer. He picked up a beautiful feather of a parakeet and gently put it in Aziraphales' hair.

"I gave the Mammoths' ration to the children. I mean… it's a huge animal. It should be fine without one dinner.", he said after a while, casually.

Then the angel wondered, when the last time was, that he fed the mammoths. Na, it couldn't be this long ago.

The Ark would have a little fewer passengers when it arrived than when it started sailing.

But the children would all survive and grow to be adults. Raised by an angel and a demon, all of them got to be fundamentally human.

Lurking between the goats, there was a second demon which none of the other beings really noticed. Well, even then, he had smelled bad, but to be completely honest, everywhere on the Ark it smelled pretty bad. Between lurking sessions he enjoyed scaring the birds. There were a few penguins, he really didn't like. One had bitten his hand, when he tried to pet it. Therefor Hastur made the penguin stop flying. All the other birds hated him for that.

And sometimes he also scared some children. But. Weren't there more than there were supposed to be?

One time he saw the demon Crawly holding the hand of a small girl with long black hair as she cried. After a while she stopped crying as he talked to her calmingly and fell asleep in Crowley's arms. This confused Hastur. Why would he do that?

This was the first time when Hastur suspected something.

Because something wasn't right. Or something wasn't wrong. Or whatever.

He didn't like it. Something was going on. Something fishy. And it wasn't the fish. They naturally stayed outside of the Ark. Because why would you have a fish on an Ark?

He couldn't prove it though. The good or bad thing. Just yet. He didn't know how.

But he was lurking in the shadows. Ready.

Still, he was new to the job, but he gave his best and already could do an impressive amount of lurking in a day or preferably at night.

~~~

**_Author's note:_**

_What I wrote about seasickness is true._

_Seasick, one becomes because there is a so-called "sensory miss match ". The passengers will receive contradictory sensations. They see their cabin as rigid space, while they at the same time feel the fluctuations. The brain has difficulties to place the conflicting information from the sense organs._

_You shouldn't eat histamine-containing food such as tuna or salami. Generally, you should eat more light-hearted and not drink alcohol. A full stomach is just as bad as an empty one._

_Ginger helps if you can't take medicine._

_[source: https/www.t-online.de/leben/reisen/kreuzfahrten/id_72671508/was-hilft-bei-seekrankheit-einfache-tipps-zum-vorbeugen.html] (Sorry, I read this on a german side.)_

_But I think, you shouldn't get seasick on an Ark, because it is not that shaky? I mean I'm not telling you what to do. From personal experience, I can say that I was fine on a ferry and a motorboat, but I got really sick on a Catamaran (Not sure if that's the right translation- it's Doppelrumpfboot in german.)_

_Congratulations, you might have learned something actually useful in real life._

_Let me know in the comments what tricks you use to not become seasick._

_Measurement of the Ark -source: /how-did-all-the-animals-fit-on-noah-s-ark_

_Personal Headcanon: The last and only Unicorn was around until Voldemort ate it._

_Thanks for reading, leave comment if you like and have a good day/ good night._


	4. 48 BC -Alexandria

Chapter Four

_48 BC -Alexandria, Egypt_

_"What happened?" he demanded. "I heard an explosion!"_

_"Yeah. That was me. I set the boat alight."_

_"What?"_

_"I set fire to the boat."_

_"But we're on the boat!"_

_"I know."_

_**― Anthony Horowitz, Skeleton Key**_

_~~_

Aziraphale had the feeling that he was being watched, as he strolled past the shelves. Just a tiny small tingling at the back of his neck. But he couldn't use his true form with the many terrifying eyes on a wednesday morning in the middle of the library of Alexandria just to see a bit clearer.

The library was part of a larger research institution, called the Mouseion, which was dedicated to the Muses, the nine Godesses of the arts. But it might have also been three. Several writers would later disagree on their number, what would make the six possibly forgotten Godesses quite angry. But who could blame them?

Anyway the library had quickly acquired many papyrus scrolls, due to the Ptolemaic kings agressive and well-funded policies for procuring texts. The angel of the eastern gate would claim to know nothing about how the library got in the possession of most of the scrolls, if anyone ever came to ask him.

Now Aziraphale looked around the room, but there seemed to be nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing unusual. Nothing suspicious. The feeling stayed, though, lingering in a corner of his mind.

This place was packed with people. Mainly middle-aged men or older men.

But everyone was concentrating on the scrolls, of course. It was really quiet. Just a few hushed words here and there.

Scrolls and shelves and people as far as you could see. You could almost grasp the reverence. The air was packed with the desire for knowledge. No one really knew, how many scrolls there where, but it would later be estimated, that there were 40,000 to 400,000.

Aziraphale went to his favourite place in the library. A small wooden table in a quiet corner between shelves. Just enough space to place all the scrolls he wanted to read there.

A sunray beams on the writings in just the right angle. He is pleased with his choice of reading material.

The library of Alexandria was not the first one there had been. A long tradition of libraries existed in the Ancient Near East. Libraries probably weren't the reason, Aziraphale was around over there, but the other way around. The real reason Aziraphale was in the Ancient Near East, which naturally wasn't called 'Ancient' at the time, was one, the angel of the eastern gate wouldn't be able to explain to heaven if he was asked, which he wasn't. It might or might not have had something to do with another entity, that was wondering around and, to his own surprise, minding his own business most of the time.

The earliest recorded archive of written materials comes from the Ancient Sumerian city state of Uruk in around 3400 BC, when writing had just begun to develop, much to Aziraphales' joy. Scholarly curation of text began in around 2500 BC. The later kingdoms and empires of the Ancient Near East had long traditions of book collecting. The ancient Hittites and Asyrians had massive archives containing records written in different languages. The occurences at the Tower of Babylon had been another overreaction, as Crowley would say. The most famous library of the Ancient Near East was the library of Ashurbanipal in Nineveh, founded 800 BC. A large library also existed in Babylon, during the reighn of Nebuchadnezzar II From 605 to 562 BC.

Now the air tasted like dust and ink and excitement.

Aziraphale sighed contently.

You could hear the rustling of turned papyrus and other paper-like material, footsteps, excited whispering.

Suddenly there was a shadow over the writings that had captured, and brought him into another world.

"Excuse me, but what is that?", a voice said. The tone is angry.

Aziraphale felt like slowly waking up from a dream. "What?" He looked up confused and stares in an angry face. The head of the library, he recognised.

"What kind of spots are these?", the angry man lisped.

"They were already there when I got it."

The man took away another scroll from the pile next to Aziraphale.

"You have ripped a side!"

"You can't even see it from there-", Aziraphale laid the papyrus, he had been holding, down gently.

The man grabbed it from him.

"No, you can't return the scrolls like that."

"No-" -there were now more people watching. Could he just wipe their memory? Something held him back.

"There will be more costs. -" The man kept talking and talking, getting red in the face.

Aziraphale panicked. Why did no one help him?

"This is going to get expensive." The librarians' face was red from anger.

No one had ever been that mean to the principality and angel of the eastern gate. He had to hold himself back to not just to let his true form out.

"Have you any idea, how...?", the man kept talking. And talking. He spat while talking.

Aziraphale gave his best to stay polite, while he was in a rage on the inside. The librarians' offensive breath got much worse, as he neared Aziraphale's face, still ranting. And spitting.

"You are banned from this library! Lifetime!", the man finally said.

Aziraphale stood up, and the man was more than a head taller than him.

Why would that matter anyway? It was not like he would be getting into a fistfight. Would he? He shook his head to himself.

"We'll hang a drawing at the entrance with your face on it. Right next to..."

Aziraphale ducked his head as he walked past him.

"I'll make sure you'll never sat a foot in here again."

Everyone watched quietly when he ran outside.

Whispering and curious glances were following him around town. And a shadow.

Where should he go? He already felt bored and lonely. Slowly his thoughts spiraled back to one special demon. He bit his lips, ignoring a merchant who tried to sell him some wonder-medicine.

He wondered what Crowley was up to these days.

He hadn't seen him in a while.

~~

Although Aziraphale didn't always see him, Crowley was always close. As close as he dared.

And because of that, he had seen something he really didn't like.

He felt himself getting angry.

No one dared to talk like that to his angel!

Crowley would make sure, that this man would never be happy again and he started with talking to the mans' wife in snake form, telling her that he had seen her husband cheating. He also told her some other things.

She went away to become a semi-famous priestess in a tiny village and got together with her childhood-best-friend and they lived together happily ever after in a nice temple.

When the angry librarian came home this day, wife, children and most of the furniture were gone. He never found out why.

Only a few days after these events, the angel and the demon met in the streets in front of the burnt ruins. Aziraphale had been on his way to grab some mashed fava beans. He hadn't tried them yet, although he had been told they were quite good.

And Crowley had been chasing a cat.

They decided to walk a few steps together.

"What happened to the library?", Crowley asked at some point.

"Itburneddown."

"What?"

"Itburneddown.", Aziraphale repeated in the same pace and volume.

"It burned down? I can see that, too."

"Caesar… his ships… fire…" Aziraphale coughed.

It was the time ofCaesar's Civil War,Julius Caesarwasbesieged at Alexandria. And of course in hells books the sign for 'Crowley' stood under the paragraph about Caesars civil war. It wasn't really readible. Demons often just pretended to know how reading and writing worked. Lord Beelzebub knew about the Civil war, because Crowley had told them so. And they have told the other demons. So demons commonly knew what was written in hells books. But no one could really read it. Or write in there. Stuff just appeared every once in a while and someone would come up with a story for it. Most times it was Crowley, because he had most of the imagination to do so.

Anyway Caesars soldiers set fire to his own ships while trying to clear the wharves to block the fleet belonging toCleopatra's brotherPtolemy XIV, who was a friend of Gabriel but that doesn't really matter in this context.

This fire spread to the parts of the city nearest to the docks, causing considerable devastation.

Some would say it had burned like hellfire. But no actual demon would say that.

"We should have dinner together to cheer you up.", the demon said softly as they paused and gazed at each other. Almost he would have gently flipped a golden curl out of Aziraphales eyes.

"I'm fine. But thank you -if I may say so."

"No you don't -and no, you're not.

Come with me. I know a nice place." He reached for the angel's hand but stopped himself before they touched.

Aziraphale frowned.

So many scrolls...

So much wisdom lost.

Well. He still had Homers' scrolls at his place. But no one must know of that.

You weren't exactly allowed to take scrolls home.

Now he could hit himself for not taking more. Saving more of them.

So much ash.

He didn't know if he was going to cry.

Could he even cry?

He looked so sad and lost.

The demon felt the strong urge to hug and comfort him.

But how?

When Aziraphale was one step away. Maybe two. But still so far.

"Angel...", he said in his softest voice.

This voice was reserved only for Aziraphale. It would never be directed at anyone else.

"Do you think they have baqlawa? I need something sweet to...", Aziraphale asked quietly, but then seemed to lose his train of thought.

Crowley smiled and the angel of the eastern gate looked away. The demon liked to imagine that if he were a proper human, he would blush.

It was going to be ok.

Eventually.

~~

Michael sat just a table away from them. She listened carefully, a piece of bread with something on it that smelled a bit strange in front of her. She hadn't touched it yet.

Aziraphale talked very quietly. From time to time she heard the angel giggle.

From time to time she could see the demon shuffle closer.

Unlike the other angel or the demon, she could remember.

Well, at least more than the others.

And she just knew, that the principality, angel of the eastern gate Aziraphale, would cause trouble. Sooner or later.

And then she'd be there to catch him.

~~

**_Author's Note_**

_Fun fact: Homers works of Odyssey were the only ones to survive the burning of Alexandria_

_Source: 'Crash Course Literature' on YouTube if anyone is interested._

_Also some sources say, that the library was burned down by Julius Caesar_

_-others say it just slowly declined and ceased to exist, slowly being destroyed by the following Emperors who thought that some wisdom could be dangerous, because apparently there are recordings that people still used to go there after Caesar burned his ships._

_I decided for the first theory because it is the more common one, I think – and also it better fits to the story._

_Wikipedia says, it just partly burned down._

_But I'm not an expert. Just did a bit of late night googling. Please feel free to let me know in the comments what you think or maybe even know is true._

_Also Michael starts with she/her pronouns, but will choose to change them over the course of this story to they/them maybe back to she/her and then to he/him. It is a metaphor for you can be whatever you want to be._


	5. 33 AD -Judea

Chapter Five

33 AD -Judea

**_Author's Note_**

_You guys are getting an Easter Chapter for Halloween!_

_Yay._

_Happy Halloween to everyone!_

* * *

"_The unicorns lifted their heads. Of course they weren't white. Why were things in this world always white-washed? Their hides were brown and grey, mottled black, and pale yellow like the autumn sun drifting through the damp fog above."_

_― **Cornelia Funke, Reckless**_

* * *

"Should we… you know…", Aziraphale looked at his hands, then at his feet.

"Know what?", Crowley stepped closer.

"Bring him back?", he whispered.

A pause.

Their eyes met.

"God will be not amused that they killed her son.", Aziraphale pouted, "I don't want another flood."

Crowley took a deep breath. "There is nothing we can do. Can't just bring him back. Too many people saw him die. Questions would be asked. We can't wipe all of their memories, angel.", he explained calmly.

"Maybe it is part of the Ineffable Plan after all.", the angel said quietly after a while.

The demon raised a hand half way and then let it fall to his side again.

"Let's get something to drink.", Crowley answered. He sounded tired.

Aziraphale was all over the place. And if something could calm him down, it was something nice to eat. And if he was really honest with himself, it was Crowley in the first place.

But he wasn't honest with himself and so they went to the next best tavern and got drunk.

To be precise: They got drunk for three whole days.

On the third day, it happened. Suddenly somewhere around lunch time a man sat down next to them.

"Hey guys. I'm back.", a familiar voice said.

"Sometimes I can still hear his voice.", Crowley said and Aziraphale nodded, sadly.

The young man said a few more things, but there weren't really in the state to comprehend much what wa being said.

"Anyway, it was nice, seeing you guys again. Could you tell mom, I'll be home late?"

"Of course.", Aziraphale said.

"Awesome! Thanks, guys. Gotta meet some other friends. Make a few last miracles. You know how it goes." The man stood up again, smiled a last time at the angel and the demon, while paying for their drinks and then left the tavern without anyone else noticing.

When he was gone, Aziraphale said "Wait a minute. Was that-"

They ran into the streets.

He wasn't there. Just a few people walking around, who didn't seem to be impressed by anything at all.

"We- we should look, if he still there. You know? There." Aziraphale stumbled.

Still drunk they went back to the cave.

* * *

The grave was empty.

"Hey.", said a voice behind them out of nowhere.

"Ahh.", Aziraphale screamed, jumped and grabbed Crowley, who only half caught him and they both landed on the floor.

Their wings got ruffled and Aziraphale lost two feathers in shock.

"You scared the living he- hea- scared the living shit out of us.", Crowley stuttered as he helped Aziraphale standing up, trying to straight a few more feathers, but almost falling over again.

"Sorry for scaring you, guys. I forgot something. I think I lost a cloth or two here somewhere. But whatever. Gotta go now. Maybe we can hang out sometime. Well, not hang in that sense. Hehe. Too soon?"

The angel and the demon didn't answer, just stared, so he continued: "Oh, today should be a special day. Not really a birthday though. But something nice anyway. If they ask you just make up something nice."

And with that he was gone.

"That was ... Something.", Crowley mumbled.

When they left the grave, Aziraphale stumbled against a woman. She let something fall and started screaming. The women who were with her started screaming as well. One ran away.

"Shit, we ssstill got our wingsss out.", Crowley hissed.

"Oh, I almost laid an egg the second time today.", Aziraphale complained at the same time.

The women stumbled back and got silent.

"Dear angels, what news of our saviour do you have for us?"

Crowley took a step forward, the women huddled back. "Lisssten here, I'm not an-"

"Eggs!" Aziraphale shouted and then nodded. "Nice and colourful eggs. They represent theeee …empty cave?"

Crowley tried to help: "Eggssss laid by beautiful white-"

"Rabbits.", Aziraphale said.

Crowley shot him a side glance.

"Lilys are a great flower for decorations."

And they went on like that for a while.

They talked about how they should calculate it from the phases of the moon, about how the eggs should be hunted and if it wouldn't be quite nice if there were one or another parade.

The moon thing had been Crowley's idea, but Aziraphale kept interrupting him and the women got confused. This would later result in different eastern feasts on different dates of the year.

Later the women would tell the disciples of the occurrences. About Jesus and the celestial beings and rabbits and eggs.

The disciples wouldn't believe it.

* * *

"We should sober up.", Crowley said, as they stumbled into Aziraphales' home that night.

"We should have done that much earlier.", the angel groanedas he let himself fall on some couch-like furniture, which was mainly feathers and straw. "Gabriel is going to be so mad."

Then he started giggling as Crowley sat down directly next to him.

"So you like magical rabbits?", the demon asked and leaned over.

"Only if they are white."

"The snake part of me likes bunnies, too."

Aziraphale almost fell down, giggling.

"Oh stop it."

They looked in each others' eyes and stopped laughing.

In the distance the howling of a wolf-like creature could be heard.

Crowley hesitated, then he said: "I think I should give some feedback downstairs."

"Alright. Will I see you again soon?"

"Sure, angel." And with that he left through the backdoor.

Almost the same moment, the front door opened.

"Gabriel!"

He jumped to his feet.

The archangels' eyes glowed and only now he realised how dark it had become, so he snapped a finger and there was light again.

Gabriel came very close and Aziraphale didn't dare to step back. He looked up and gulped.

Personal space or 'Proxemic' would be invented in the 1960s by the Anthropologist Edward T. Hall.

Not that Gabriel would care even then.

"Good job, Aziraphale. Great work ethics.", Gabriel shouted and the principality and angel of the eastern gate stumbled back.

"I mean 'Easter Eggs'? That was a nice touch."

Aziraphale didn't understand anything anymore. "What about ...Her son?"

"He is put under house arrest for getting himself crucified."

"Send him my regards."

"Of co- Wait, something smells evil."

"That must be the grasshoppers outside."

The archangel Gabriels face dropped a bit, but then he got back to his scary grinning.

"Anyway, keep up the great work."

He gave him another thumbs up

Aziraphale nodded nervously.

And with that Gabriel was gone.

* * *

_Downstairs_ Crowley stood infront of Beelzebub and Dagon.

"Killing God's son. This looks like someone is getting a promotion.", Dagon snarled.

"Your application for an extension of your worklicense on earth has been accepted.", Beelzebub added. "You can resume your work there. Before that little miracle up there, you had been balanced on knife's edge."

Crowley had wanted to say something, but he remained silent.

"You may go, now."

He nodded, then he left, without looking back.

That could have been close.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

_Funfact 1: Lk 24,1–12 EU: The Grave is open; two angels proclaim the easter message._

_There are more versions of this. But this one is my favourite._

_Funfact 2 (because I heard on the radio, that many people don't know this): "Easter, also called Pascha or Resurrection Sunday, is a festival and holiday commemorating the resurrection of Jesus from the dead, described in the New Testament as having occurred on the third day after his burial following his crucifixion by the Romans at Calvary c. 30 AD."_

_Again. Different sources say different things. But that's because it was a long time ago. At least for human standards._

_"It is the culmination of the Passion of Jesus, preceded by Lent , a 40-day period of fasting, prayer, and penance."_

_Aziraphale certainly doesn't like the fasting part._

_Also "Easter and the holidays that are related to it are moveable feasts which do not fall on a fixed date in the Gregorian or Julian calendars which follow only the cycle of the Sun; rather, its date is offset from the date of Passover and is therefore calculated based on a lunisolar calendar similar to the Hebrew calendar. The First Council of Nicaea (325) established two rules, independence of the Jewish calendar and worldwide uniformity, which were the only rules for Easter explicitly laid down by the council. No details for the computation were specified - these were worked out in practice, a process that took centuries and generated a number of controversies."_

_"It has come to be the first Sunday after the ecclesiastical full moon that occurs on or soonest after 21 March. Even if calculated on the basis of the more accurate Gregorian calendar, the date of that full moon sometimes differs from that of the astronomical first full moon after the March equinox."_

_(Fun fact about the author of this fic (me): Being half catholic and half orthodox, I chose to celebrate both easters. Because more magical rabbits.)_

_"Easter is linked to the Jewish Passover by much of its symbolism, as well as by its position in the calendar. In most European languages the feast is called by the words for passover in those languages; and in the older English versions of the Bible the term Easter was the term used to translate passover. Easter customs vary across the Christian world, and include sunrise services, exclaiming the Paschal greeting, clipping the church, and decorating Easter eggs (symbols of the empty tomb). The Easter lily, a symbol of the resurrection, traditionally decorates the chancel area of churches on this day and for the rest of Eastertide. Additional customs that have become associated with Easter and are observed by both Christians and some non-Christians include egg hunting, the Easter Bunny, and Easter Parades. There are also various traditional Easter foods that vary regionally."_

_Often it is lamb, but I also know some greeks who planned on having a barbecue of a whole goat._

_[source: Wikipedia and not enough sleep]_

_I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my granny, because easter was her favourite holiday._


	6. 41AD -Rome

**Chapter Six - 41 AD -Rome**

**_Author's Note_**

_Ok, guys. Now that I've won Nanowrimo, I can update chapters here more regularly again. Yay._

* * *

_"The night is alive with stars, and when I lie down and look up, I get lost up there. I feel like I'm falling, but upward, into the abyss of sky above me."_

_-**Markus Zusak, The Bookthief**_

* * *

It stayed the only temptation this day.

The oysters had been nice though.

In the evening they sat on a field, the stars above them, close, but not that close. Crowley could almost touch him, but he also couldn't. The oysters had been good. He could have watched Aziraphale eat them all day long. And he probably actually did. What is a day, if you have eternity?

The grass and clover were soft and a bit moist and it smelled of rain, but the sky was clear, anyway. It might or might not have been a small demonic miracle.

"Do you remember meeting Plato?", Aziraphale asked quietly after a while of them watching the stars and moon in silence.

"Yeah, 380 BC. He was writing that book. Politeia. He totally had a thing for Sokrates. Am I right?", the demon answered.

"You are absolutely right. I mean - he wrote like ten books with him as a main character."

"It's strange.", Crowley said, while Aziraphale at the same time said: "It's cute."

Before fanfiction got invented, friendfiction was a huge thing, not only among the Greeks.

They didn't have to turn their heads to know that the other one was smiling.

"He had some terrible views on slavery though."

"Don't blame me, angel. He thought of that himself."

"I'm not blaming you, my dear boy."

"But you did talk to that Pythagoras guy. Didn't you?", Aziraphale added after a while.

"Just let him know, that the earth isn't flat. -And I have the feeling, that the schoolchildren of the next generations will curse him more than enough."

Not only is Pythagoras responsible for many of the failed math tests for the next three thousand years, he is also credited as the first Greek to think the earth spherical, but this idea was probably founded on mystic reasons rather than scientific. Either way, the news didn't seem to get around everywhere on earth, because even more than two thousand years later, the flat earth society still has members all around the globe.

"Do you know what they nowadays say about the centre of the universe?", Aziraphale asked as excited as someone who had learned something new and wanted to impress a teacher with their knowledge.

I know you are the centre of my universe, Crowley thought very quietly to himself, while he also quietly admired his angel for going through the struggle of learning something about the universe, because he knew, that Crowley was really into Astronomy.

Heliocentrism wasn't exactly big news. But he appreciated the effort.

The Greeks, or to be precise Aristarchus claimed the sun, not the earth, was the fixed centre of the universe, and that the earth, along with the rest of the planets, revolved around the sun, anticipating Copernicus and Galileo by almost 20 centuries.

"There are so many great things that are going to be invented. So many things to discover. …So many oysters to be eaten.", Aziraphale whispered later. His excitement almost filled the air with electricity.

And Crowley could only agree, because pessimism wasn't invented yet.

Pessimism would be invented by Arthur Schopenhauer in 1788. His opinion was: that a) existence is a mistake; b) there is no meaning or purpose to existence; c) the best thing for humans is non-existence; d) life is essentially suffering and suffering is evil; and e) this is the worst of all possible worlds. And even Nietzsche would later claim that this world view said more about Schopenhauer than about the world.

But there was still time until then.

So the demon and the angel lay underneath the sky, full of hope and great expectations for the future almost until the sun rise again.

* * *

Downstairs Beelzebub sat on their throne doing some paperwork. Dagon sat beside them on the floor, scrolls over scrolls surrounding them. They stared at their bad handwriting and wondered if they were looking at a balance of accounts or the recipe for apple pie.

Hastur approached them with a bow.

"Hail Satan.", he said.

"Hail Satan.", Beelzebub and Dagon answered simultaneously.

"What do you want, duke of hell, Hastur?", Dagon asked, putting the scroll down on the pile for shredding.

"You remember the demon Crowley, that you sent to earth, Lord?", he asked, facing Beelzebub.

"Yes, I do. The demon Crowley is doing some extraordinary work up there."

"I think he is planning… something.", Hastur said meaningfully.

At least he imagined that was what he sounded like.

But Lord Beelzebub seemed rather unimpressed by that. They focused on their paperwork again.

"That's not your division, Hastur. Do you understand?"

"Yes. Lord Beelzebub."

"If you want to file an official complaint anyway, you may go to the room of complaints.", Dagon added showing some teeth.

Hastur didn't answer.

He just bowed and then left them, to go back to his room.

The room of complaints was the same room where the hellhound nursery was stationed.

They didn't feed the hellhounds there very often.

At least they didn't feed them intentionally.

He remembered the demon Abyzou who had wanted to file a complaint of workplace harassment for the demon Lilith. She had gone to the room of complaints and got eaten. A week later, when Lilith hadn't changed her attitude, Abyzou went there again. And got eaten again.

Hastur jumped a little, as Ligur nudged his side.

"Are you alright?", Ligur asked.

"I'm a demon. I'm never alright."

"What did you talk to the Lord about?"

"We suspect something fishy with the demon Crowley."

"Do we?"

"We do."

They nodded at each other.

* * *

Gabriel sat in front of an almost empty desk. There were only a small black notebook and a ridiculously sharp pencil in front of him.

"I have a complaint about the principality and angel of the eastern gate Aziraphale.", Michael said without a greeting.

Gabriel stood up, walked around the table and then leaned against it and crossed his arms, like one of these teachers who desperately wanted to look cool and relatable.

"What is it?", he asked.

"He is probably planning something. Something regarding… downstairs."

"What about Lord Beelzebub? Have they said something about it?"

"No, I don't think so.", Michael said in a confused tone.

"…Have they mentioned me?"

Michael hesitated, caught off guard. "I don't think so."

"Ok. I don't care." Gabriels smile was bright and frozen. Almost like the one of a psychopath who was about to commit his first attempt of cutting someone into tiny pieces. He walked around his desk and sat down again.

"But-"

"It's not your division, Michael.", he said, concentrating on the empty notebook again.

"I-"

"Go away and practice playing some harp or something."

Gabriel continued to stare at the blank page before him.

* * *

In her room Michael smashed her harp into a corner.

"Are you alright?", Uriel knocked on her door.

"Gabriel is so annoying."

"Just let it rest, ok, hon?", Uriel asked.

But Michael was stubborn.

Sooner or later she would find something. And then they would respect her, the way she deserved.

* * *

**_Author's note_**

_Yes, the all-around-the-globe-joke was intentional._

_Anyway. Leave a kudos if you liked it and tell me your thoughts._

_I'm on Tumblr (@abirdonalilactree) if you'd like to talk or something or *cough* are interested in my original work (it's a really gay mystery/romance novel) that hopefully will be edited soon. *cough*_

_I also post fanart of this very fanfiction there because why not?_


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